Looking Backward & Forwards
Some people will tell you to never look back. I, however, think it's important to remember how you got somewhere. After all, part of life is enjoying the journey. If you don't look back on the missteps you made, how can you ensure you won't make them again?
Three years. It has been three years, but it doesn't feel like it has been that long. Three years ago, I received that first call from Andrew wanting me to come in for an evaluation. He was a new fitness coach just starting out, and I was this middle-aged guy who hated the gym because I never saw progress and it just felt like a chore.
Over the next two years, Andrew taught me not just to love fitness, but how to embrace life for all it was worth. I went from someone who didn't think I'd be around in a couple of years to someone who worked out nearly every day and loved every minute of it.
I think it began with being recognized by my gym for the work I had put in so far. It meant so much to me, even though I felt like I wasn't deserving of the honor at the time. I was still in a very negative mindset where I really couldn't imagine someone praising me for the effort I was putting in.
I remember how excited I was when I broke into the 200s on the Trap Bar Deadlift. It was one of the first of several pivotal moments in 2016 that forever changed my trajectory of life.
As I look back on that moment, it sticks out in my mind. It's when I started to do things "right". I had people behind me, rooting me on. Whether it was my coach, the gym manager, or the people around me, I realized I was in a space of positivity and people were wanting me to succeed. It just drove me to work harder and change.
Over the next few months, I worked hard to bring the weight down. I would put in extra effort in the gym, push myself, and I realized I really wanted this. I saw this as the first steps towards achieving the body that I had always wanted, and the level of health that I wanted.
The next couple of years would bring hard work, commitment, and dedication but I did get to an 'average' body fat level. Then I moved, and things changed.
In October 2017, I moved to a new state and started fresh, leaving my old gym, my friends there, and everything behind to start an exciting new adventure. Along the way, I feel like I lost myself in some ways. I no longer had cheerleaders pushing me. I began working with a coach, and we switched gears to a more hypertrophy focused way of training. While I had been doing Powerlifting for a while, I wanted to try something new.
Over the last 9 months, I've worked with this coach and pushed myself on my workouts, but some days I just felt like I wasn't connecting with them. Something was off. It was wrong. I couldn't figure out what it was. I was putting in the work, but sometimes I felt like I was going through the motions.
In May I pulled my back, which caused me to have to lighten my load. In the meantime, I put on some muscle as well as some body fat. In the last month or so, I think I finally realized what the problem was. It was the lack or community. The benefits of working out in a small gym environment is that you are around the same people every day in closer quarters, while a larger gym has most people with headphones on doing their thing.
In addition, I've been giving a lot of thought to my training style. While hypertrophy and "bodybuilding" is fun, it's also tedious and I feel like I need something more. So I've begun shifting more towards "Power Building"; bodybuilding with some strength under it. Pushing myself to get my deadlifts and squats back up in weight, while still trying to push hard on accessory lifts.
I'm starting to see improvements again. That's the biggest thing right now. Driving myself to get stronger, and I'll then turn that to getting bigger. Meanwhile, I am locking down my diet tight (save for a celebration next weekend) and working on body composition. My mental state is shifting, and I am seeing the changes I want... but it will take time.
