Steps in Color

There was this moment back in 2016 when I first felt like I was on the right track with my fitness journey. Sometimes, the simple things resonate the most with us, and in this case, it was walking through explosions of color.

I remember stepping onto Rentschler Field in East Hartford for the “Color Run” and feeling very anxious. Outside of the gym for my first ‘fitness’ event. I was meeting some folks from the gym. I was nervous with anxiety because I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would I get left behind? Would I be abandoned for not keeping up? Would I seize up with nerves from being around so many people?

In reality, what happened was that I got to know the people from the gym so much better, I had a ton of fun, and I walked a 5K for the first time in my life, all while getting blasted with color.

I remember us joking about how I didn’t cover my hat, and it got completely covered with the color powder. Whoops! Oh well… I put it on a shelf, thinking I’d clean it later. In hindsight, I’m glad I never got around to it. About a year later, I decided to leave the color and put the hat away.

Nearly 6 years later, I’ve begun thinking about my goals more and what I am genuinely trying to accomplish with my fitness efforts. Thinking about things like customized coaching versus just doing “classes.” Thinking about how I get to where I want to be and what it would entail. I feel like 2022 is the year I will push forward to the next level, but what is that level?

Thankfully today was a gorgeous day out. Warm, sunny, and just a nice breeze. So I decided to go for a walk and think things through. I’ve always found that taking a walk helps me think and make my thoughts more straightforward. As I walked out the door, I opened up my hat bin to find something to cover my bald head, so I didn’t get a sunburn. There it is, at the bottom of the box… the Color Run hat. Still coated with the color powder from that day nearly six years ago. I smile and grab the hat, tossing it on as I walk out the door.

I have my earbuds in, start walking, and put on a random playlist. As I am walking, some good songs come on. One specifically, Sincerely, Me, from the musical Dear Evan Hansen is one that I love. I found that I wasn’t just walking but dancing down the street lip-syncing to the song. Sure, people in their cars and walking probably think I’m an absolute lunatic, but I really don’t care. I’m enjoying life, and I’m going to enjoy this moment of excellent weather.

Now I remember what I want to achieve. When I saw Hamilton on Broadway, I realized I wanted my body to move in ways its never moved before. I desired to move, dance, and coordinate my body within space. While I always fell back to that heavy lifting mindset out of a ‘default.’

I really wanted to push myself in a direction where I could jump on a ledge and jump off without even phasing while doing it. I wanted to have my body move in coordination, knowing where I am within space and being able to coordinate my feet. I needed to embrace the trueness of myself.

When the year began, I wrote all this out. I decided this is what I wanted more than anything else this year. I want to make it so my body would finally serve me instead of me plodding through this world. I needed to not accept the mediocrity instilled into me from when I was a young child.

I continued my walk (and dancing) for a good 30 minutes more before heading home. It gave me more time to think about what I was really trying to do. It isn’t just about movement; it’s about living. It’s about embracing life. It’s always been tough for me to be happy. So I needed to back to the exercise of defining who I am.

I decided to revitalize my “hobbies” effort, I began doubling down on some specific efforts. Firing up the blog and getting it back up and running, this post is the first post in quite some time. I began the setup effort to get my Twitch channel up and running. I bought a new microphone arm and started reorganizing my desk. It’s time to get moving on my fitness efforts hard, get my hobbies in order, and refocus myself; it’s also time to kill off some bad habits I’ve had for a long time and kick those to the curb. (Those are a story in and of itself.)

I haven’t entirely decided what direction I’m going with the fitness journey. Still, I’ll be making it fast and hitting it hard. It’s time to achieve great things.