Since the pandemic began, I’ve been relying heavily on delivery services. Whether it is Shipt, Instacart, Amazon, or various other vendors, a stead stream of packages and deliveries have been flowing into my apartment.

This week I decided to hit Costco for the first time since COVID-19 shut everything down, and also pick up a purchase at Best Buy.

The one thing that struck me as I went on my very regimented trip was that I wasn’t making any side trips. Usually a trip to Costco meant grabbing a cup of coffee on the way there, milling around the Best Buy nearby, circling over to Costco, and either grabbing something to eat there or stopping on the way back to get some food.

On this trip, I had a plan. Swing by and pick up my purchase using curb-side pickup and then move through Costco as quickly as I could and get out. It made me realize something.

When I leave the house, I relate that to food. When I would leave the house, to me that also meant “eating”. No matter how short of a trip or what it was for, leaving meant grabbing a bite to eat, some sort of coffee concoction with more calories than a Big Mac. This time I made the decision this would be a quick trip to get things done.

This realization of “missing food” has made me think about every time I leave the house. Whether it is out of boredom, routine, or a “cure for depression” (which is just usually a momentary sugar high), I always find myself eating when I am out. Out for a Target run? Grab Starbucks. Heading to Carytown? Swing by Dunkin. Hey, I’m here, maybe I’ll grab a donut. Oh, two are cheaper than one… I mean when combined. The west end shopping trip exhausted me? Guess I’ll swing by Shyndigz on my way back.

As I’ve been thinking about this “respawn” effort I am currently undertaking to get my fitness goals pushed harder, I am thinking more and more about my relationship with food. I worry about macros, diets, etc., but lately I’ve just been focused on calories in & calories out and I’ve started dropping some weight again.

I thought back across my entire fitness journey so far, and realized I was happiest in this process when I was doing cardio classes, lifting weights, doing low intensity cardio, and focused solely on calories & protein when it came to nutrition… and the reality that the summer of 2016 when I was doing exactly that was when I lost the most weight I’ve lost in my life.

So I’m evaluating my nutrition plan with that in mind, and realizing that I need to Keep it Simple Stupid and stop worrying too much on the nuances and more on what I am trying to achieve. Core to that will be once again reprogramming myself away from food as a crutch, as a boredom reliever, and as a temporary cure for sadness which is usually of my own making worrying about minute details in life.

So meal prepping, getting back to basics, and hard work. Let’s get it.