"I'm fine."

It's a running gag between myself and my trainer at this point. No matter how exhausted I am, no matter how burnt I am into a workout, I always respond "I'm fine" and smile. I firmly believe I could be literally near death, and I'd be going, "oh, I'm fine, everything is fine." 

While this gag has become a staple of training sessions more as a joke than anything at this point, there definitely was a time when I wasn't so fine after an intense workout. Specifically, anything requiring endurance. This includes High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) and anything of an extended duration for cardio. 

While I have built up some great strength over the past eight months, I definitely have needed improvement in the area of endurance. Even with my weight loss, I still struggle through many endurance based workouts.

Recently, however, I've discovered I am truly improving on this front. To improve my endurance, a couple of months ago I started doing a "conditioning day" once a week. This included some dynamic exercises like kettle-bell work, ball throws & slams, lunges, jump squats, battle ropes, etc. in sequence. The idea was to get my heart rate up and running. Coupled this with my elliptical sessions, and I was able to make some improvements to my overall endurance, but I still felt lagging.

A few weeks ago, I made the decision to start attending Group Coaching sessions at my local gym. These classes are split into cardio and strength; I have my own strength regimen, so I decided to start with the cardio classes.

“Is it over yet?”

Prior to this, I tried taking some HIIT/Cardio classes in September/October 2015; that was a disaster. I was so far out of condition, that even a basic thirty minute class knocked me out. This was part of what drove me to getting a trainer in the first place, and what drove me to wanting to improve myself. If I couldn't get through these classes, what chance did I have long term for my health?

So after some time of lifting, some core work, and cardio for about a half-year, here I am ready to begin the conditioning of my body from this mid-grade obese state to an athletic state. I began attending the cardio group classes, and I've already seen huge differences in my abilities and conditioning after a few classes. The first couple of times were, honestly, pretty brutal. While I made it through the classes, they were extremely tough. Though to the point that I thought somebody might have to scrape me off the floor. 

“It’s supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it.”

After a business trip and getting back into it again, something changed. Each time it didn't seem as hard as the last. It's hard, don't underestimate that. A wise man constantly reminds me, "It's supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would do it."

You can see the intensity from my Fitbit alone; the number of minutes spent in "peak" heart zone for surpass any workouts I've done from the past. During these peak moments, I am filled with breathlessness, desperation, and anxiety. You can see here the intensity of these workouts:

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I have also discovered I am filled with something else... euphoria. I realize at these moments the change I am undertaking is real, I am doing it, and nothing will stand in my way. As I embrace these moments, these are when I kick up the hardest and push myself beyond what I've done in the past. 

“Is that it?”

During a session this morning, I realized something. I was struggling with parts, but they weren't as much of a struggle as they used to be. I realized I wanted to do this, that I wanted to be pushed, that I wanted to move beyond where I am to something better. At the end, I said "is that it?" to the trainer, which resulted in a look of pure assumption of insanity from one of my fellow gym mates. I was ready to do more, but I also knew I was approaching my limit. So we went into stretching and moved on.

I'm not going to claim I am now the cardio expert by any stretch of the imagination. There are still many moves I struggle with, whether for endurance or flexibility or constraints of my own body shape. However, I know all these things will be changing over time and I will be able to do those things I can not do well now very soon. 

Later this afternoon, I decided to do something I have been wanting to do for some time... run outside. I've taken walks outside many times, but never a "run". Or maybe it was a jog. Either way, I decided it was time. I was feeling energized. The work day was over. It was drizzling a little earlier, but stopped before I headed out the door.

I kept a fairly steady pace for a while, and then walked for portions. I watched my heart rate jump up and down as I sped up and slowed down. I was running on a trail around my community which has varied elevations, a mixture of dirt/gravel and pavements, and generally is a clear shot. It is 1.5 miles around the trail. After the first loop was completed in about 20 minutes, I almost gave up. Then I looked at my Fitbit and realized that if I didn't keep going, I'd never make those 10,000 steps for today. So I did another lap around and ended up at 3 miles total. 

The thing I think is most notable to me about this is that I was able to keep pace even though I was outside running. Even walking in the past has been a struggle and suddenly I'm able to do a run. I kept a pace of 13:48 per mile during the 3 miles, which is far and away better than I have ever done in my life. Even when I was 185 pounds the first time I lost weight, I could never run three miles at that pace.

This run proved something to me. While we work hard and want fast, immediate results, we have to understand we can't always achieve things in a day or a week. However, it also shows how much change you can make in just a couple of weeks alone with some hard work and perseverance. I don't think I could have made this run this time last month, and I probably would have walked the route most of the time. Instead, with my additional cardio class workouts I'm now able to do an outdoor run of three miles.

I can only see my endurance rising from here, as I continue to work on conditioning and improving my overall body. As body fat drops, muscle increases, and conditioning improves I only have greater endurance to look forward to.